Detail-writing Exercise

by Amy Hannah Jones, Grade 8, Bliss Carman Sr.P.S 

What I See:

Beautiful, luscious trees surround a small meadow of grass waving in the wind. The tree branches bow to the arriving wind gods and the leaves tremble. The green bushes in the background mostly stay steady – the wind gods cannot penetrate the thick needles. The gods give up on the bush and look for something else to play with. It moves out of the haven of the peaceful field out into a square of some kind. It whirls up the purple silky fabric of a girl’s skirt as she attempts to smooth it down coyly. She smiles at the older woman next to her as she waves her diploma happily and smiles radiantly.

What I Hear:

Cars are moving and tires are screeching as they stop suddenly. A window of a car being rolled down and a scream of joy and sounds of rejoicing. People are talking: A girl is chatting happily and laughing with another woman, a guy is talking to his friends. A door slams and someone is once again greeted by a girl. The wind blows papers sending off a rippling noise. Feet shuffle and high heels can be heard pacing back and forth they suddenly stop and then the sound of heels become rapid as they move quickly. Embracing can be heard as the girl presumably hugs her waiting Mother.

Details of a Plant on a Tree:

The deep brown and light brown mix together. The roughness and toughness of it makes you never expect that such a dull place could have a smooth, lime green stem sticking out of it. The contrast of the two colours together is brilliant. The stem goes up and you can see a darker shade of green peaking out as it reveals to be a leaf. You see the veins go through the leaf as you see its angled up towards the sun’s brilliant rays. More leaves follow as you look farther up the 10cm long stem. At the end, many leaves at the top break the cycle of one leaf about every 1 or 2cm. It will continue to grow longer if the sun allows.

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