By Keegan McEwen, W. H. Morden Public School
Have you ever been so mad at your brother or sister that you wanted to hurt them but not too much? Do you only have one eye and want to look cool? Do you ever get frustrated at your spaghetti? Do you ever get mad at your fork? Do you ever want a pet that does not require a lot of work and is small? Do you want to play an odd and original musical instrument? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you need the new Comb-shifter! The new Comb-shifter is a torture weapon, one shuttershade, a spaghetti straightener, a mega huge fork, an animal and a musical instrument! So buy one now for only $9.99! But wait, if you call within the next 10 minutes, you’ll recieve a Mirror-noyer free! The Mirror-noyer is the newest thing in annoying people. Just put it in the sunlight and aim it at the eyes of the person you want to annoy. At Pointless-things-R-us, our motto is “it isn’t what it looks like, it’s how many different thing it does”. Wow! We’re going throw in another set of the Comb-shifter and Mirror-noyer for free! That’s two Comb-shifters and two Mirror-noyers for the price of one Comb-shifter! So call now and make your life easier with products from Pointless-things-R-us.